What to do with a reluctant swimmer By Linda Knapp Special to the Enterprise At the age of one, my daughter happily played with me in the swimming pools. By two, however, she hated those splashing, choking demons. And at three, and four, and on up until seven and I began to worry. All her friends could swim, and when their birthday parties became swimming parties, my daughter refused to go. I hadn't forced my child to learn figuring she would eventually choose to herself. But I worried about her being left out, and mostly about her safety. Living in this watery boat-loving area, it seems critical to be able to swim.  I picture my daughter as a teenager going in a canoe with some friends and fooling around like I did as a kid.  The boat tips over - its part of the game - and nobody bothers to ask if everyone can swim. My daughter HAS to learn. The longer I wait to force the issue, the harder it will become for her. At five, I put her in a swimming class, and that torture lasted one lesson.  I tried private lessons, but the sweet young teacher couldn’t help my child overcome her angst. After that, I let it go for a while, silently searching for the right person – someone who would push my child to face her fear and conquer it. Someone who could win my child’s trust and keep it. Finally, I discovered Linda Riggins’ swim school. Her pool is in Kirkland, a 40-minute drive from my home. Her classes are half an hour, four students per class, $20 a class, twice a week (recommended).  She uses a flotation system, progressing from a few floats on the swimmer’s back, to two, one, and then none. She’s reputed to be particularly good with reluctant swimmers. To me, the prospect seemed extremely time-consuming, expensive, and absolutely necessary.  I signed us up. My daughter entered her first class broadcasting that she hated swimming. She was the oldest by a few years, wore three floats on her back, and wouldn’t put her face in at the beginning of the lesson. By the end, she was on two floats, had dipped her head, and jumped off the side of the pool. Linda did not permit crying, would not accept refusal, and never pushed beyond the safe and the possible. My child adored her.	That was three months ago. Today, my swimmer races across the pool with no floats, and dives off the board. Still resistant to give up her identity as the one-who-hates swimming, she now says she loves “pooling.” We typically arrive at her lesson a little early to watch the class before ours. My daughter enjoys watching the other kids. I enjoy watching Linda. She teaches kids to swim, and she teaches me how to parent. Once I watched her with a 5-year-old who had been taking lessons for many months and was still wearing a half a float. At this lesson, Linda didn’t put on the float, he panicked and started crying loudly. She said he had to stop crying and talk to her. He didn’t. She said if he kept crying his mother would have to leave the pool area. The boy finally stopped crying and said he needed his float. Linda put it on. He crossed the pool a couple of times. Linda quietly removed the half float. This time she told him she would tuck it inside his suit. He was very unhappy, but swam and did just fine. He crossed a couple more times with the float tucked in his suit. When it was time to jump off the diving board, Linda held the float and he jumped. Then he swam without it. During play time at the end, the boy swim all around with no float, smiling broadly. I’ve seen Linda deal firmly with a number of hysterical children who end up calm, happy, and extremely proud of themselves. At 59, this teacher applies a kind of tough love that is rare these days, especially the kind that also proffers human affection. I’m not suggesting parents should adopt Linda’s style of teaching at home. Sometimes I think it’s our job to harbor our children’s woes. What I’m suggesting is that there is a time and place to be firm, and to push kids to do more than they think they can. I cherish those teachers who insist that children behave and perform at their best. I’ve seen it demonstrated over and over that adults who are tough and loving while pushing kids to succeed, will succeed. Linda Knapp's column appears on the third Thursday of every month. She welcomes comments and can be reached by e-mail at linda@overcoffee.org, or by fax at 206-546-6705.
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